My Life Monday

My philosophy... Wow thats hard. I never really thought about it. I guess I would have to go with Life isnt Easy so buck up and get a grip. So many ppl dont realize that. (or dont want to like me)

Ppl need to quit taking the easy way out and stand on their own two feet. Really life has become about the easy way. If you need something now put it on a credit card cuz you dont have the money. If your marriage isnt working like you want go get a divorce. Oops your pregnant and didnt want to be go get and abortion. Wow I forgot to take something out for dinner guess that means we eat take out tonight. I need a term paper let me buy one. I need a good grade on this exam let me pay someone to take it so I dont look like an idiot.

There are so many easy fixes it seems now that everyone uses them. Granted some are so minor (ie the food) but others really impact our whole life and can change us in the most fundamental of ways. There was a movie that I really loved in high school and I will be darned if I can remember the name of it but it had Kirk Cameron in it and it was about him and a college debate team. They go to nationals and it really stuck in my head (IE part of his speech is in the previous paragraph maybe not word for word but the general idea) but what he said is so true. We expect everything to be given to us but not to be worked for anymore. I do believe there are exceptions but for the most part its true.

Exceptions to this rule are actually getting pregnant. This is very different. Getting rid of an unwanted pg and not getting pg and needing help are in two VERY different categories. Although there are even women who use pg as a way out. It still happens in the military. Oh what did a I do I hate this let me get pg and get out of this lifestyle... seen too many women use this as their escape clause. Or EWWW stretchmarks aint going to happen let me pay someone else to carry this child. For normal women though getting pg and maintaining a pg or even getting pg can be hard and then if and when you get pg you have to deal with all the hormonal intake of that too. So for the most part I dont generally lump this in with the quick fix theory... in case anyone was wondering.

See I know what its like this time I have been wanting to get or be pg for a year now. and its just not happening now. I think the biggest thing was me breastfeeding for so long it really really threw my body off and it has taken it awhile to really bounce back. Also there were one m/c in there for sure so another issue with the o'ing and all... there was also a probably 2nd one. So here I am a year from last year and still no baby and still not pg. Its hard. I do realize this is all not on my time but on Heavenly Fathers time... so maybe I just need to work on his plan and let it go for now.

Life ticks on....very slowly as it seems for now

Okay so to get this out now....

I want to post about my LOVELY weekend. My lovely weekend was supposed to be go to bed friday at about 10 or so... didnt happen closer to midnight... and get up at 7 to go help clean up the Chapel... got woke up the first time at 330! then again at 6! ... Got to the church (THAT did go as planned!)... then have a nice fam breakfast then head to the soccer round up and then the kick off they were doing an hour after the round up ended... DIDNT Happen!... hmm the round up went over who knows HOW long.... because 15 min AFTER it was supposed to be over a marine escorted my son to me with a bloody nose and already swelling nose... then they couldnt find ice and my second monkey still wasnt done but came for water and I said tell them you have to go. So we did and then we were supposed to have a light carefree afternoon to gear up for the rambunctious activity at the church... instead we spent about 4 hours in the ER for a broken nose. and then came home totally worn out and didnt go to church and havent slept well SINCE then.

poor boy. his swelling has subsided a LOT and he goes in again wednesday morning for a follow up.

Anyways that was my weekend in a nutshell. We still havent heard what teams we are on maybe tomorrow.

~life ticks on

MY LIFE MONDAY!

Okay so the topic is the me not so many ppl know. Well lets see I was born in Cali to a Navy dad and SAHM. I was the first kid in the fam to wear disposable dipers ! OOOOO! LOL. We moved 3 times in 5 yrs. I broke my baby nose 3 times in 5 yrs LOL! Lets say my older brother (the one who is 7 yrs older than me) had issues with the new baby *ME* and would do whatever he could to hurt me and make it look like an accident. Fast forward to the early years... my parents split up when I was in third grade and I almost failed 3rd grade. At this time though I took a lot of frustration out in the pool. On breaks I would swim literally about 10 hours a day. I loved it. I miss it. I wasnt born a member I converted in High School. I was 17. My mom totally disagrees with the Church. She sent me her churches mags for the first 2 yrs I was married. LOL.

Now the thing most ppl dont know about me is I have an AVID love of books. I would read every minute of every day if I could. The other is I love playing online role playing games like Everquest, World of Warcraft etc. I also love to make afghans. I dont like making ANYTHING else but I like making them. LOL!

I guess thats me...

How did I get here?

A friend has been going through a lot of hardships lately and I really feel for her. Its hard to feel forsaken not only by your friends and family but also by Heavenly Father. Many times over the past 12 yrs I have felt lost or alone but I know its MY feelings and I have to deal with them. If I dont then I will be the one left to face Heavenly Father and be held accountable for those feelings. I am learning that if I read my scriptures when I am feeling out of place or mad at the world it does seem to help me. Also prayer. If that doesnt help then I go to the Bishop....
I know for my friend this has been going on for a long time. I cant wait to see her soon... It wont be but a few more mos and she will be here where I am and we will be able to see each other and talk F2F for once. AS well as our monkeys too.

Now I just need to teach this to monkey #1 cuz she spends a lot of time right now mad at the world. It sets off the whole family at times which I definitely cant deal with. Anywhooooo I must get to bed before I pass out.

How do I know thee?

When it comes to your children do you honestly think you know them well and you have raised them well? Sometimes I really wonder on this. Granted my oldest monkey is severely ADHD and has issues because of this BUT is that really an excuse for her doing BAD things? I want her in counseling but when we put her back in counseling honestly she was missing either the SAME class EVERY 2 wks OR the whole day of school. The class she is missing is English which is pretty much a class she SHOULDNT miss. KWIM? Anyways she is also getting to that hormonal period as she is going to be 12 very very soon! She fights with us and argues and is literally driving me crazy. Now you CANNOT leave ANY money out anywhere or you can kiss it goodbye cuz if she sees it she takes it. I am sooooo frustrated. What can I do? I cannot take her back to the hospital for counseling because that drive, the parking situation, the hike up to the docs office then the hour weight then 1/2 hour hike and 1/2 hour car ride back is just a bit much. Your looking at 3 1/2 hrs fro ONE counseling appt depending on the time she goes ... if she goes in the afternoon your looking at the time that most of the military is getting off here so traffic coming out of the hospital is bad... you come in the morning your looking at civilian traffic being bad... you go in the middle and then she misses school altogether because you went in the middle to be blunt. School for her starts at 720 gets out at 150 her last TWO hours is English. Her first hour is PE (which is her only failing grade) So really I need something better than the hospital for her... like someone with evening office visits or saturdays. I know they have them cuz she did this at our last duty station and it worked SOOOO MUCH better. It wasnt at the hospital either but civilian ones.

How do you teach your children (who in my case should already know this as we have TRIED getting it into her head MANY MANY times) not to behave like a thief? I am soo frustrated with her and her whole attitude she wont even admit she stole like 10$ from me. EVEN if I HIDE it which it was in a very good place I swear she is a dog and can sniff it out. I hid it in what I honestly thought would be a VERY GOOD SPOT! I put it in an empty tampon container under my sink. So why was she in MY bathroom AND Under MY sink? Who knows.

I am thinking of going into her room and taking our her non essential stuff... stereo, toys, anything that isnt her bed and clothes basically. What would you do?