feel as if your a disjointed member of your own life? Let me go back to the beginning of the year. You know my husband was gone. Well during that time I got sick twice and my two little ones got sick, as did my 12 yr old. Among other things we had sickness going on and school out for some and in for some. I was by myself etc. So needless to say life was chaotic. I thought I did the right thing by asking for help from my "friends" with things I felt I just couldnt juggle while my husband was gone. I hadnt asked for help but once for ONE day prior to this. You see I had a LOT going on. I was a co leader for my activity days class, I was part of a carpool and had to drive one week every 3 wks, all the sickness, my daughter broke several toes during this time, and I pulled a muscle in my chest of all things. So needless to say it was a very eventful 7 wks that my husband was gone. I wasnt really sleeping from my chest and from him not being home. This is where the downfall begins.
I asked one of the other people in the carpool to help me by taking my runs which was only 2 maybe 3 wks during this time and that I would take hers when my husband came home. She said sure no problem. So after my hubby returned I missed once maybe twice picking up my turns. Well my one daughter has been sick and having some appts of her own to take care of and well this past week her carpool decided we didnt work with them and so our part has been dissolved. If my daughter still wants a ride she can walk to their house at 530 in the morning and they will take her. Yeah 530 am in the dark. Granted it is only about a 1/4 mile but hello?? She would be outside alone. Just because we are on base doesnt mean we are safe. My daughter response was great we can be late EVERY DAY then. Apparantly the only time they are on time is when I take them (atleast that is what she says). She says half the time the one family doesnt even show up until 10 til 6 and its a 10-15 min drive depending on your speed and the light situation. I can beleive they are late because I know when I do the pick ups their kid always makes us feel rushed because he takes 5 min or more to show up when he knows your waiting.
Anyways beside that I have/had a calling too. Apparantly I must have gotten released from it though because I never get to teach it and I never get any real say in it. I get to sit at the back and observe. I get told when they are and thats it. Tonight we were supposed to have class. I got an email addressed to the entire class that the other teacher was sick and had company so therefore class was cancelled. Really because I wasnt sick? I couldnt have stepped in?? Isnt that why they have several of us in this calling?? I guess not... I guess I am there to be her secretary and not her equal.
These are only a few of the things that are seriously bugging me. Honestly I dont even want to go to church and or to be around these people. Obviously I am a nothing to many of them and therefore dont deserve to be there.
I dont know if its me or what but I am in a seriously low place and its not like me. I have spent the past little while crying and I dont even know why. DId I do something to offend these people? When I was having serious problems did my ward step up and offer help?? HECK NO! The YW leader offered some help but she got released on a day we werent even there and she didnt even bother to let us know. My girls especially my oldest was quite upset. I thought she was a friend to us. I know that she was probably upset but can you imagine how we felt that we werent even told. The new YW pres. didnt even say anything or tell us what was going on until two weeks later. I only found out after I called all of the leaders almost from the old presidency before I finally got the secretary and she told me they had all been released. I called the old YW pres and left a message never bothered to return the call... a week later now still nothing.
Anyways its not even that. Its as if everything that can go wrong this week has gone wrong this week. The earthquakes knocked the fridge in the garage plug loose.... EVERYTHING ruined. So isnt that a great thing. ALL OF our meat for the next week and a half was in there. NO MEAT left now. Yeah! fun. AND let me add that my new furniture that is supposed to be here tomorrow only half of its showing up and that was after I called them to find out when it was coming... apparantly there was a glitch and they didnt call us. If I hadnt called I wouldnt have known they tried to push it back to april 25. GRRR. So my new table wont be here until then but my couches will be here tomorrow. The manager who was supposed to call back never did. Wont be shopping at MOR furniture again I dont think.
I am just beyond in a crappy mood... can you tell? Anyways my hubby is griping because I am doing this. So I am going to go to bed...
